Q & A

Q: What is the difference between coaching and counselling?

A: There are some subtle and fundamental differences between coaching and counselling. Coaching tends to be a little less interested in the past than in the future and where the client wants to be when the process is finished. It is also less concerned with how clients feel than how they want to feel. That is not to say that a client's past experiences and feelings are not important. While the past is discussed, it is addressed only in the context of discovering what is blocking the client from moving forward. The focus is always on movement and taking action.

Another difference is that coaches, as contrasted to counsellors, are not seen as therapists. Rather, they are seen more as a professional with a set of skills they use to support people to achieve goals. The boundaries are looser and they use more humour. There is more flexibility in the delivery of coaching. Along with scheduled sessions, there may be telephone sessions, e-mail, and personal meetings over coffee.

Q: How do I know if relationship coaching is right for me?

A: If you have troubles developing or maintaining a healthy relationship with a partner, coaching is an effective way to find answers and solutions.

Q: What do you mean by abandonment, love addiction, and codependency? How do I know if I have one of these problems?

A: If you had a parent who died or left the family, if your parents divorced, or if one or both of your parents withheld their love as a form of discipline and failed to give you enough nurturing, encouragement, and time, you probably have abandonment issues, whether you are aware of it or not. Abandonment can cause someone to become codependent, commitment phobic, or addicted to love.

Love addicts and codependency - some key behavioural symptoms

- Spend a large amount of time and attention on their partner; constantly thinking about the person, wanting to be together, making contact emotionally or physically, using sex or money to keep their partner interested, all usually at the expense of their own well being

- Feel anxious and depressed when they are not in a relationship and become involved with unhealthy partners out of a desperation to feel connected

-Try too hard to make their partner love them; are needy of their partner's attention and love, but are extremely sensitive and feel rejected when their partner doesn't reciprocate in expected ways; compulsively act out obsessive plans to try to manipulate their partner

-Often choose a partner who cannot be intimate in a healthy way

 

© Clearwell Coaching 2010